USA Blog 9#- I'm alive!

 

" We're all different and all  equal...
...we are similar!"

Laura Pausini

(from an interview about her new album"Similar!")

Hey everybody!!
How are you?! How's school?! How was Thanksgiving? Christmas? And what did you do for your spring break?! Did you had fun?! I went to Florida with my host family, it was great! Probably one of the best vacation I did so far in the USA, not for the place (my heart remained in New York!!) but for the people!! Now I feel totally part of the family and so was actually like going on vacation with my family, not being an exchange-student turist, and it was amazing!

Anyway that's not what I wanted to tell you today. Today I just wanted to say "Hi!" and to day that I'm alive and I'm actually doing great! I'm really sorry I stopepd writing in this blog, mostly I'm sorry because it was something that I promised myself I would have done, but it's ok, cose I stopped writing for a real reason.


The reason is that in November/January (when I stopped writing) I still had this werid feeling of being out of place. Of course I had fun with my family and friends, and of course I enjoyed visiting New York and doing barbecues, but if I asked myself "Am I  happy?" the answer was mostly "Yes, but...". And then there was the question. That annoying thing that came up all the time, in the back of my head...."Was it worth it?! Why did you came here?! What the hell are you doing here?!"



And with all this going on and me just writing the good things on the blog, I felt like I was lying to you, but mostly to myself. I felt like I was denying the entire thingm pretending that everything was fine.

One night, after new year's eve, I was in my bed and
I just needed to scream, but it was like 3 a.m. of the first of January and it wasn't the best moment to do it, so  I grabbed my computer and I started writing*. When I finished and I went back to read it from the beginning I realized that everything wasn't fine. That I needed to admid that with myself and star acting.

 And that's waht I did the next morning....I wanted to read a book? I asked for it or I went t othe school Media center/Libriry and I took it! I wanted to be in the school play? I went to the director and I ascked! I wanted to go out with some friends? I sent some texts with some ideas! I wanted to new clothes? I wanted to go somewhere? I was tired? I said it! I was sad? I said it!




 Everything started turning right. Everything stated being so easy. And from there it was much better, from there I actually started having fun and enjoying my year. Having a great time. Feeling part of something again. Now if you ask me "Are you happy", you'll hear me say "Yes, a thousand time yes!!"





And so while all this was happening I couldn't write about it, I wasn't ready. And at the same time I couldn't keep lying. So I just stopped writing. But now I'm back! Feeling great and ready to write about whatever the life have for me next, good or bad. So hope you're still there, because I'm still here!

Thanks for readying,
See you soon,
Love you 

 Fennec Fox

* That paper then, with my English teacher hepl (thanks Mrs. Fulchino!!), became an article fot the school online Newspaper, so I leave you the link here if you want to go and read it!

Agent Fenenc Fox- Mission exchange student!