Good morning
everyone, how are you?
Here in Italy
is noon and I’m making lunch for my family. My mom is working at her desk in
the attic (‘smart working’ as they call it now: working from home, as you were
in the office); my dad is studying and working at his desk near hers; my sister
is in her room following online classes. I was studying as well, but I finished
early, so today’s my day to prepare lunch for the family.
Is weird to
have everyone home during a weekday. It is even weirder since it’s not summer nor
a holiday period, it is the spring semester and we are all home. This is our new
normal.
It has perks:
we get to eat together every day and we get to spend more quality time together;
but of course, it’s a very hard and difficult situation for everyone.
It’s not an easy time to be alive. It’s not an easy time to grow up and find your way. Not
an easy time to decide what to do and to keep dreaming.
Many people
in this weeks are writing to me, from all over-people I met during my USA experience
at Ellicott City (MD); people I met in my more recent Erasmus program in
Budapest (Hungary); people from other regions of Italy, that I met during
seminars, boy-scout events or university activities- they are all asking the
same questions: how are you doing? How is your family? Are you ok? How are you holding
on? Do you need help? We should talk soon, keep in touch, let’s do a videocall
soon, etc.
Well, for
those of you who haven’t asked yet, I am fine. My family and I are doing ok. I’m
taking life day by day, trying to enjoy each little thing.
But to tell
you the truth there is more. When I learned we were going to stay home for a
long time I was terrified. Not because I hate my parents (which I don’t, even
if we argue sometimes), or because I can’t stand to stay with my little sister
(which I love and with which I never spend enough time), or because I was
scared of having to stay inside ALL the time (which I am, but we have a pretty
big house and a small garden, so I’ll be fine).
I was
scared of me, of my anxiety. I worked very hard to find ways to cope with it,
to leave with it. And now, everything is upside down all over again. My entire
world has shifted and I have to re-learn how to stay with myself. How to fell
useful, how to stay positive and healthy.
What did I
do? How do I keep going, day-by-day? Which are the new strategies I found to
cope with this new ‘restricted’ situation?
Well, here
they are (I am not an expert by any means, this are just things that worked for
me and really helped me through this hard time, so I’m sharing them with you because
they might help you and your loved ones too):
1)ACCEPTANCE
We have to
accept the situation.
We have to accept the fact that there is an emergency
situation (COVID-19 a new virus, for which we don’t have a cure/vaccine yet, is
spreading really fast, hurting our health care systems, and even killing
people), so we have to follow the instruction given by the official national (and
international) organs.
We have to wash our hands often, to maintain the
distance, to avoid going out if we’re sick/not feeling well or (if you are in
Italy, or other areas of lockdown) we have to STAY at HOME.
I know it’s
not easy for everyone. We are lucky: we are four adults living in a pretty big
house, in which we all have our spaces (so we don’t have to ‘stay together’ all
the time) and we even have a tiny garden in which we can go to recharge and get
some fresh air.
But not everyone is in this situation: some people have small
apartments, maybe with no terrace/balcony; some people got ‘stuck’ in their
school/university dormitory and they are miles away from their family and loved
ones; some people have kids at home and they have to find ways to keep them
busy and entertained and to explain to them why they can’t go to the park; some people
have old-parents (or grandparents) in special medical centers that take care of
them and now (for their safety) they can’t go visit them anymore.
It’s hard, I
know. But it’s necessary.
If we want the situation to get better, if we want
the virus to stop spreading (or at least to spread slower). If we want to be
able to cure everyone, to have resources for everyone. If we don’t want to
reach a ‘like-war’ situation in which doctors (and all the hospital personnel)
have to choose who to save based on the chances he/she has to survive.
If we want
to be able to go back out again, we need to follow the rules. Do it for you, do
it for the people you love, do it for the people I love and you don’t know, but
might die because of your recklessness.
With this I’m
not saying that you can’t go out of the house for important/necessary reasons
(like buying grocery, going to work and going to the pharmacy), but I’m saying
that is important not to look for loopholes, for ways to avoid the restrictions
to go out as much as possible. If you have to go grocery shopping send one
person in the family, possibly once a week. Not two people every few days, just
to take a walk or go out of the house. I know it’s hard, I know it’s difficult.
But people are dying and hospitals are getting full, so it’s important that we
each do our part.
2) KEEP
DREAMING and THINKING about the FUTURE
The situation
is serious (and has to be taken seriously, see point 1), and scary.
But this doesn’t
mean that we should panic. If we follow the rules, if we do our part, the hospitals
will do theirs. The experts will keep looking for a cure and the doctors will
do the best they can to treat those with the virus now.
And everything
will be ok, and there will be a beautiful tomorrow to look forward.
So, instead
of panicking or giving up. Instead of fulling around all day doing nothing or
just wasting time.
Let’s see
this as an OPPORTUNITY. We’re stuck in our houses for some weeks (maybe more): great!
Let’s use our time for ourselves-to invest in our formation/learning; to get
some rest; to start exercising following online classes (or doing some exercises
we already know: you don’t need the gym, just a mattress and some
determination); to become the better you.
This is the
time to do all the things you always wanted to do. Remember? When you were at
work every day, all day, thinking/dreaming about all the things you could once
at home? Wishing you had more time to spend with your loved ones?
Well now it’s
the time.
-To play
more with your kids, to read them all the bedtime (or day-time) stories you
didn’t have time (or you were too tired) to read them, to do board games together,
to listen to them-to what they are doing in (online) school, to what are their
dreams (it’s never too early or too late to talk about those).
-To learn a
new skill: a new language you always wanted to learn, to cook or to work in the
garden, draw, etc. There are so many resources online that can help you in your
learning journey and you might even find those classes more entertaining and
complete than those in real life. Or maybe you have your teacher right there
with you: your mom can finally teach you the family recipe or your teenage son
can explain to you all the mysteries of the internet.
-To finish
to read that book you bought at 6 am in London, because you were too awake to
sleep and you had an early flight home, the book you forgot on the shelf when
you got back home to your real life. To finally watch the movie that won the Oscars
in 2017 and everyone said it was amazing. To listen to that audiobook to finish
that paper you were writing. To finish (or start) that tv series everyone suggested.
To complete all of those personal projects that you love, but that you always
have to put on hold for ‘more important’ ‘real-life’ things.
-To start
working on yourself. Take this time for YOU, to grow as a person, to become
more patient and loving with yourself. To judge less and try harder to become
the person you want to be.
As I said, this situation will end (hopefully before
you know it) and then? What will happen then?? Will you be ready to start again
your everyday life? Will you be ready to keep going forward, instead of going
back??
This time is an incredible opportunity to work on yourself: to gain the
skill, the knowledge, the cooping tools to become a better person. A better
you. Don’t stop dreaming just because you’re in an emergency situation. Dreams
are what keep us alive. Of course, we have to stay grounded in reality (see
point 1), but we can ALSO keep dreaming and keep working towards our dreams.
I tried to
take this time to find online courses, webinars, all sorts of material that will
make me a better person, which will teach me some skills and competencies that
will make the difference in my life: today and tomorrow.
I am trying not to
waste this.
I am trying to make everyone's effort to keep the country safe and
alive worth it. I am trying to find a way to come back STRONGER than before, to
have the tools to make my country start over, and get better faster. I am
trying to find a way to move forward.
Thank you
for staying with me today,
Always do
the best you can and help one another,
See you
soon,
Fennec Fox
P.S. How
can I help??
1)You can
help yourself and your loved ones by STAYING at HOME (as much as possible) and
follow the instructions given by the official communication channels (of your
gov’t or of the W.H.O.)
2) You can
help yourself and your community by NOT panicking but understanding the gravity
of the situation and deciding to do your part, for everyone.
3) You can
help yourself by taking this time to invest in you and become a better person
you can be/the person you would like to be/ the person your gov’t will need
after this emergency, after this economic arrest.
4) You can
help others (if you have any type of knowledge or skills) by sharing knowledge and
information about your profession with others, so they can learn more and walk
towards their dreams or towards a better more balanced life-style.
5) Just don’t
judge yourself or others and try to OBSERVE your actions objectively to improve
in the future.
P.P.S. I
will now suggest a few books of material I am using in these days to learn more
and work on me
BOOKS:
-‘L’alchimista’, Paolo Coelho
-‘Wild’, Cheryl Strayed
-‘Off the
road’, Jack hit
-‘Wonder’
R.J. Palacio
- ‘Siddharta’,
Harman Hesse
-‘Eat, Pray,
love’, Elizabeth Gilbert
-‘Miss you’,
Kate Eberlen
-The sun
and her flowers’, Rupi Kaur
And I could
keep going but I don’t want to make the list too long
WEBINARS
and ONLINE MATERIALS:
-Andra
Acconcia and Giuseppe Moriello --> their project and mission is
something that can really change your life and your way of seeing things- so go
check out their books, project, etc. [ONLY Italian]
-TED talks
on youtube (you can find some great information and insights from all sorts of people)
-Masterclass--> online platform in which you can
learn from the best (actors, chefs, managers, etc.) [you have to pay a monthly
fee for free access to the platform]
Note: I am
just suggesting these materials because they are helping me through these hard
times, I am not receiving any type of reward for suggesting you these books
(not an advertisement)
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