ITA Blog #8- What do you want for your Birthday?

'What do you want for your birthday? What present do you want? What can I get you?'

'Could you get me a new book?' this was my answer for every birthday/Christmas/end of school/religious holiday... I wanted more stories...I wanted to visit and discover new places, I wanted to make new friends and follow them in crazy adventures, I wanted to understand and be understood, I wanted to stay up all night because what we were doing was too important to stop (I mean... between sleeping and saving the world...definitely saving the world!)....
I was hungry of knowledge and of learning and books were the best way to do it...my escape from reality without ever leaving the room, my safe place.

'Could you get me a new book?'. After a while they got bored of getting me books. 'You don't need a new one, you already have a lot of them!" Pointless to say that I had already read them ALL, so I did need a new one...they would never understand. And so by the end of Middle School I starting receiving 'cool' clothes, bracelets and even a phone (which I didn't use until the first year of High School, 'cause I didn't need it)...all things that I dind't really like or use. They were just sitting in my wardrobe looking useless.

'Could you get me this thing I really need?' or 'Thanks, but I don't really need anything. You can make me something with your hands (diary, photo things, gift card, cake) and just show up at my party, this is going to be the best gift!"
When I got old enough to be consinderd worth of listening I decided that things had to CHANGE. What is the point of getting me things I don't need or I won't use? You waste money and I waste space...it's even disrespectful for those who can't afford to buy those things and would die to have them (this is why I ended up donating most of my 'unwanted' gifts). So this became my new answer: if I needed something I would ask for that specific thing. Otherwise, I would just ask people to show up at my birthday party with maybe a cake or a gift card.

'If you really want to give me a gift you could give some money to a charity or use them to do something that will make you happy'
By the end of high school I got to the point in which I really didn't need anything for my birthday, so I started to use 'my gift' to better the life of other people, which is our aim in life. We are here to life the fullest life possible, sharing what we have we others, trying to understand the other, to accpet him...this our purpose. When we have everything we could ask for in life and even more, we have a 'duty' to give what we can to others less fortunate.
The gift I was most proud of was my 18th birthday:  I was able to raise 100 euros (I know it's not a lot, but all of my friends were still high schoolers, so that' s all they had) for a local association 'Impronte di vita', which works is strict relationship with an association in Columbia to better the life of refugee there (there was a really bad civil war so many people had to leave their homes). I felt that I was actually making a difference in the world with my actions.

Saturday will be my 20th birthday...'wow it's a big date! you're fully an adult now! It's the first 2 decades...feeling ols yet (very much ahaah)?! You have to do a huge party! What are you getting? You should ask for a pretty big present'

Well, this past year has been a huge mess. I have lost many people that I thought were friend, I saw them and my family (especially the adults in my family) for what they really are, humans, with all their flaws, so I learned I can't pretend them to understand everything.
I lost my balance. The one for which I fought very hard, the one for which I travelled to the other side of the world to find. I lost 'control' over my life. I almost lost 'control' over my own mind.
So, nah... I don't really feel like thowing a big party. I feel like having a nice, quite, simple day with people that really care about me. I feel like doing something that makes me feel good.

And nope, I don't need a huge present either. But yes, I want something for this birthday. 

'What can I get you for your birthday?'
You could listen more to people. Don't judge, suggest, find a solution. Just LISTEN.
Try to understand what they NEED. Not what you would need in that situation or what you think they need. Don't try to understand what they're going through. You probably CAN'T. Try to accept them. As they are. With their flaws and their problems.

 Just LISTEN. All they need is not to fell ALONE. Is to feel loved, no matter how meesd up they are, no matter how bad they screw up. They need to feel you are there for them. They don't need you to tell them, they need you to show them.

Just LISTEN. You might save a life.

Thanks for reading,

Love you all

 

Fennec Fox