ITA Blog #8- What do you want for your Birthday?

'What do you want for your birthday? What present do you want? What can I get you?'

'Could you get me a new book?' this was my answer for every birthday/Christmas/end of school/religious holiday... I wanted more stories...I wanted to visit and discover new places, I wanted to make new friends and follow them in crazy adventures, I wanted to understand and be understood, I wanted to stay up all night because what we were doing was too important to stop (I mean... between sleeping and saving the world...definitely saving the world!)....
I was hungry of knowledge and of learning and books were the best way to do it...my escape from reality without ever leaving the room, my safe place.

'Could you get me a new book?'. After a while they got bored of getting me books. 'You don't need a new one, you already have a lot of them!" Pointless to say that I had already read them ALL, so I did need a new one...they would never understand. And so by the end of Middle School I starting receiving 'cool' clothes, bracelets and even a phone (which I didn't use until the first year of High School, 'cause I didn't need it)...all things that I dind't really like or use. They were just sitting in my wardrobe looking useless.

'Could you get me this thing I really need?' or 'Thanks, but I don't really need anything. You can make me something with your hands (diary, photo things, gift card, cake) and just show up at my party, this is going to be the best gift!"
When I got old enough to be consinderd worth of listening I decided that things had to CHANGE. What is the point of getting me things I don't need or I won't use? You waste money and I waste space...it's even disrespectful for those who can't afford to buy those things and would die to have them (this is why I ended up donating most of my 'unwanted' gifts). So this became my new answer: if I needed something I would ask for that specific thing. Otherwise, I would just ask people to show up at my birthday party with maybe a cake or a gift card.

'If you really want to give me a gift you could give some money to a charity or use them to do something that will make you happy'
By the end of high school I got to the point in which I really didn't need anything for my birthday, so I started to use 'my gift' to better the life of other people, which is our aim in life. We are here to life the fullest life possible, sharing what we have we others, trying to understand the other, to accpet him...this our purpose. When we have everything we could ask for in life and even more, we have a 'duty' to give what we can to others less fortunate.
The gift I was most proud of was my 18th birthday:  I was able to raise 100 euros (I know it's not a lot, but all of my friends were still high schoolers, so that' s all they had) for a local association 'Impronte di vita', which works is strict relationship with an association in Columbia to better the life of refugee there (there was a really bad civil war so many people had to leave their homes). I felt that I was actually making a difference in the world with my actions.

Saturday will be my 20th birthday...'wow it's a big date! you're fully an adult now! It's the first 2 decades...feeling ols yet (very much ahaah)?! You have to do a huge party! What are you getting? You should ask for a pretty big present'

Well, this past year has been a huge mess. I have lost many people that I thought were friend, I saw them and my family (especially the adults in my family) for what they really are, humans, with all their flaws, so I learned I can't pretend them to understand everything.
I lost my balance. The one for which I fought very hard, the one for which I travelled to the other side of the world to find. I lost 'control' over my life. I almost lost 'control' over my own mind.
So, nah... I don't really feel like thowing a big party. I feel like having a nice, quite, simple day with people that really care about me. I feel like doing something that makes me feel good.

And nope, I don't need a huge present either. But yes, I want something for this birthday. 

'What can I get you for your birthday?'
You could listen more to people. Don't judge, suggest, find a solution. Just LISTEN.
Try to understand what they NEED. Not what you would need in that situation or what you think they need. Don't try to understand what they're going through. You probably CAN'T. Try to accept them. As they are. With their flaws and their problems.

 Just LISTEN. All they need is not to fell ALONE. Is to feel loved, no matter how meesd up they are, no matter how bad they screw up. They need to feel you are there for them. They don't need you to tell them, they need you to show them.

Just LISTEN. You might save a life.

Thanks for reading,

Love you all

 

Fennec Fox

ITA Blog #7- Some family time!

OHANA means FAMILY....

and FAMILY means no one gets left behind or forgotten..

Lilo &Stich

Hey people! 

How are you? I know it's been a while since my last post, I'm sorry...I've just been crazy busy with life, you know. 

I had an exam session in the middle of March and then it was Easter, with all the family things to do, and then classes started again (yeeey...) so, yeah, no much free time lately. 

Anyway, after a very loooong winter, it seems like spring is actually arriving! I really hope so, because I love seeing the nature starting to grow again: all the green little leaves, all the amazing and colorful flowers...They kind of grow everywere, so it looks a bit like your town is been taken over by nature...and that's great! 

So, other than enjoying the weather, I've also really enjoyed celebrating Easter this year. 

In Italy every festivity is not only a religious or a 'national' festivity, it's also an excuse to spend some time with your family. Indeed, even if you're not very religious (as my family and I), there are still a lot of traditions that the family follows every year during the festivity. 

We all meet for lunch. And whith all, I mean EVERYONE: my close family (mom, dad, my sister and I), my cousins' family (my aunt, my uncle, my consins), my other cousin's family (my aunt, my uncle, if he's not working, and my little cousin), my aunt Anna and my grandparents (all four of them). Then, sometimes, there are also my cousins's grandmother and other relatives. So yeah, a big family reunion. (and we don't even have such a big family, some people, especially in the South of Italy, have much bigger families because they keep in touch with all the cousins and relatives they have).

My FAMILY!!

Anyway, where was I? Oh, right, the luch. Ok, so forget any possible idea you can have of lunch (if you're not italian of course), and try to imagine this: we arrive at the place of the lunch (usually held in the biggest house, in my case, my cousins's house) at about noon, bringing a dish that we cooked the day before (or in the morning), but not any dish, the dish that we agreed we would make. I

explain my self better, this lunches are pretty important, so they require a lot of organization and usually the different courses are so many that the 'cooking work' as to be divided among the different relatives (even if my aunt Anna and my grandma usually do more than the others, they just really love cooking).

So we get there with our dish and we start chatting with everyone (we haven't seen each other in a while, especially me, since I stay in Venice most of the time now) and at the same time we help whoever needs help ahah. And then,  finally, it's lunch time!! 

We sit down at the huge table at the centre of the room  (it's probably 1.00 or 1.30 p.m. by now) and we start the lunch. In my family we usually don't have appetizers, but we have a couple of first course (different types of pasta, like lasagne, ravioli,ect.), then the second course, for Easter usually lamb and vegetables, and then deserts and fruits, after this for the adults there is cofee and grappa. 

Ravioli: some with butter and some with meatsauce (ragù)

Lasagne

Lamb (second course)

Vegetables: peppers, eggplants, zucchini

Deserts! Tiramisù, pastiera (Easter cake) and others

 

 The thing is, between one course and the other a lot of time goes by, so that we can chat, take family pictures,....start digesting the food ahaha. So, yeah it usually lasts until 4.00/4.30 pm, then the granparents and the little cousins usually go home (they are pretty tired by now) and the rest starts cleaning and putting things back into place. Then we go for a walk or we watch a movie together. 

Giulia (cousin), Eleonora (sister), me, Marco (cousin) at the beach for a walk, after the Easter lunch

 It's a really magical day that you get to spend with your family. And this year, I can say that I felt all the magic. It had been a while since I had last seen most of my relatives and I didn't realize just how much I missed them. It was great seeing all of them and getting to spend some time with them too. So, yeah, it truly was a very good day, one of those that I will remember looking back and I'll never be grateful enough for the amazing family that I have: they are always so supportive and ready to help. 

Remeber they are the ones that will always be there for you, no matter what, so be nice with them, even if you don't always get along, because they all love you.

This was a bit different than my usual post, but I just wanted to share this with you,

hope you liked it,

Thanks for reading,

Love, Fennec Fox

ITA Blog #6- Who are you?

'Who are you?' When I was little it was pretty easy to answer this question when the adults asked. “Sono Arianna Bassi che mangia i sassi” (I’m Arianna Bassi, and I eat stones. In Italian my surname, Bassi, and the word stones, sassi, rime. It’s a game we play in kindergarten to help the kids to remember their family name).

But as I grew up things got complicated.

In Middle school I became a teenager and everything got sooo complicated. I lost any type of self-confidence I might have had before. So, not only I no longer knew who I was, but I didn’t even know what I liked. And after those three crazy years you even have to choose an high school (in Italy we have different types of high school, that have slightly different curricula that concentrates on different aspects, like languages, history, science, art, etc.). 

I was completely lost, but I knew that writing made me feel better, so I choose the Classical high school, in which you concentrate on the study of 'humanities' (Italian Literature, philosophy, history, Greek, Latin, etc.). 

But as I was walking towards the huge wooden door on the first day of school I kept asking myself: “Did I make the right choice? Is this really ‘me’?”

And, luckily, I did.

 In high school I found an amazing group of friends. When I was with them I didn’t have to think about everything I was going to say, I could just say it- I knew they were not going to judge. 

I never had something like this. 

For the first time I could really be myself, no filters, no masks, just me...and that's how I learned who I really was. I was a passionate and carying young women who really loved the planet on which we live and all the creatures in it (yes, even the human being). I was sensitive and generous, but at the same time I would stand up for myself. And not only for me. I would fight any type of injustice and violence, because it’s just wrong. Of course I knew I couldn’t change the world, but I could at least change my neighborhood.

So yeas, I finally kind of knew who I was, thanks to eight crazy people with witch I played board games on the weekend…life really is weird and unexpected.

Then I decided I wanted to discover more. 

This renewed confidence gave me the strenght to really follow my dream: I wanted to know  better this amazing world we live in and to see cultures different from mine. So during my third year of high school I applied to AFS-Intercultura to spend the forth year abroad. 

Spoiler alert: I was accepted. 

So on august 2015 I was on a plane flying above the Atlantic ocean. 

And again…

'who are you?' 'Ehm…. I’m Arianna, an exchange student from Italy.' And that was it. 

I had a “new” identity, a fitted in a new category. I was no longer the passionate and nerd school girl, but I was 'just' an italian girl. And I liked it. I liked representing my country aborad. Because this is what I was doing. I had the opportunity to tell people things about Italy. I could answer all those annoying questions to show them that we (italians) are more than the stereotypes. 

And I felt so blessed to have that priviledge.

A year went by so fast and it was already time for me to go back. I went back to my old life but I didn’t just “took my identity back”. 

Now I had a bigger view of what was out there, I had pieces of the world in my heart, forever. I had friends everywhere…and it was crazy to think about it. So I was both the same confident and selfless girl that I was before, but now I was also more aware of the world outside: I was a richer person.

This new prospectives helped me, after my last year of high school (we have 5 in italy, crazy, isn’t it?!), to choose my college: I wanted to do international relations to be able to represent my country and who we really are abroad and at the same time to understand other cultures (as I did with the American one). 

And I was off to college. Everything new, different, strange.

Who are you? Ehm…

Where are you from? I’m actually from Italy, but I spent a year in the USA, and I’m really connected to that country so…

Where’s your home?! Really?! Are you trying to make it harder and harder with every question? Anyway…I don’t know…my home is where the people I love are, I guess…

After people kept telling me...I starting really thinking about it, so I could answer them the next time they asked....

Where’s your home? Everywhere and nowhere. My home is where I decide it to be. And I am, who I am, but I’m constantly changing, open to new ideas and views. The world it’s huge, and the universe it’s even bigger…and we are so small. We have to realize how small we, and all our porblems, are and just live life to the fullest always carrying with us a big smile. 

So who am I? Just somebody very curios who loves the world and thinks we should all love each other and cooperate together to solve the problems that we created. Just somebody who wants to learn. Just somebody who wants to discover more.

 Fennec Fox

P.S.: You are probably wondering why did I tell you all this? Well I just wanted to make it easier for you to understand what happened to me in the last months... Ready?! Here we go…

In december I finished my first semester and I went home…I went back to Ravenna, my hometown where my family lives…I spent some very good days with them: we decoreted the Crhistmas tree, we went over to my grandparents house for luch, we played board games…it was a lot of fun…

And then my parents gave me the biggest present ever…. Tickets to go back to the USA for winter break!! So the 22nd of December I was on a plane heading…home!! I was so happy to see my host family again! All the family friends and my school friends. I spent there Christmans and New Year’s Eve…it was like nothing had changed…we still all loved each other and it was great. The best part was that my boyfriend was able to come with me! It was really important for me that he got to see also this part of my life: my other family, my other friends…it was great! 

However time flies by so fast and we had to go back to italy again. And then a week ago I started the second semester…so I’m back in Venice in my little home here! I’m so glad I’m here again with my amazing rommates and my college friends.

So there we go...

a lot of 'homes' as you can see... and they all have a special and different meaning to me, but they all made me who I am and I will not change a thing. Even if this means never really being home. 

That's all for today, thanks for reading.